Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Mind of A Married Man

He was startled from his sleep as he yanked open his eyes to reality.

It had been another dream.

Lifting himself from the depths of slumber he sat up on his bed and looked out onto the window that glistened in the moonlight and the drops of rain. As the sound of thunder bellowed through his room, he looked on the other side of his bed and saw her sleeping.

She had always been there.

He couldn't remember the last time he had slept alone on his bed, staring at the stars or listening to a classic song. He would always have to tuck himself in and turn off the lamp because 'they' needed a good night's sleep for tomorrow.

He got out of bed and headed to another room. Inside the room in the corner was a crib that housed a little baby as he was fast asleep in his own world of dreams.

He would now always be there too.

He let his finger press on his wedding ring and make a deep impression on his skin, quietly thinking of the decisions he had made to be what he was today. Many years back, his life had been something else, he had been someone else. He would share his partners and share his cigarettes and today he was sharing the mortgage and sharing the bed. He was a pawn in the pre-defined plan of life where he was playing his part as it as written in the script. Most of us do it, he thought, why should he be any different ?

Soon, this thought would also vanish and he would be back in the mazes of life, too busy to worry of who he was and what he was doing. This all would be just another dream. But then he thought to himself, He was only going to live this one life, he would never be able to jump off a plane, due to her fear of heights nor would he ever travel to the hills, because of her motion sickness and he would never be able to be with another woman, well for obvious reasons. With these thoughts he marched to his room and decided. He was going to run away.

Run away from it all. Live the life of a hippie, a renegade, a tourist, whatver he wanted and with whoever he wanted. He would go climb Mt. Everest one day and even be able to watch the sun set in Japan and do all of this as a free man. As he marched on to the bathroom to pack his stuff, he stopped by a photograph. A photograph of himslef and her, holding their son on the day he was born. He looked at the glow on her face and the tiny face of his son. His eyes were barely opening and her's were full of tears. And as for him, he hadn't smiled like that in years. That day he was a father and a proud one too. He had something to live for. His shoulders dropped and his face lightened, his eyes felt weaker and his heart felt lighter, he was tired and weary, maybe someother day he would make his escape.

Quietly, making no sound to ensure the baby did not wake up, he slipped into his bed. And as he was about to head back to sleep to dismiss his thoughts and think of morning's breakfast, he kissed her on the cheek and said, 'Thank You' and then he closed his eyes.


D said...

Thats true for how a lot of situations feel..a great post..

Lynn W.Butler said...

I'm new to the blog world and have skimmed through a lot of differend ones. And I must say I really enjoyed reading this. All too often women find themselves in the same mind frame. I look forward to reading more.