Long Distance Relationships

It is a matter that has been the subject of many successfully running TV shows of the past and the present. Actors shed out the best of their tears and sorrows to carry this message out to their viewers and try to teach them a lesson in life along with gaining a nomination for a Golden Globe. And as those viewers look at the mirror images of their own personal life being displayed on that idiot box, they nod with agreement and say “So true, so true”.

Despite the countless souls trying in vain to prove it wrong in the most bizarre way or the other, so true is the long lasting phenomenon about long distance relationships.

THEY JUST DON’T WORK

We all know that they don’t work and give this advice to all those who go ahead in doing it because they believe “Nothing in this world can set us apart”

But have we ever wondered what is it that causes that rift in the first place?

Why is it such an epidemic and what is the bug that makes the long 5 hour conversations (that used to last till the birds started chirping and the stars began to fade away) shrink, compress and completely microminimize to 5 minutes of “ummmms… aaaaahs…. So what else ? and finally… I gotta go”

Some of us try to convince ourselves that it’s just a case of over-extended PMSing or just another “we need a break” phase.

Scenarios such as these create the best of terms such as ‘she’s such a slut’ and ‘men…always jerks’ but what made us jerks and sluts in the first place?

Which gutter was it that swallowed up all that “No you hangup, no you hangup oh no you hangup” or the “Oh My god ! It’s morning already ?” Some innocence is lost during that phase that arrives without a single sign and seems to hang in there FOREVER.

And then we start spying on their Facebook/Orkut profiles and are shocked to our socks as we see them alive and well, no calamity has happened, nobody has died and no crater has struck them on their forehead to make them forget you… they seem to be living a perfectly, care-free, normal life altogether except for one thing,

‘We aren’t in them anymore’

We are only sentences and comments of a date long gone and are nostalgic memories of things of the past and how they used to be. How things were not so complicated, how the reply of an ‘I Love You’ was as easy as ‘I Love You Too’.


In this part, I do not stress on what all happens in this shitty phase or how to get over it, instead I look for an answer for the cause of this phase in the first place. So I pose this question to all those girls out there who seem to have gone through this phase where they feel that their boyfriend has of late been to touchy and mushy and trying to be too close.


WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS TO YOU ?

Lets see if a couple of options posted can help you clear out that decision

1) You don’t see that same boyfriend anymore in him, he seems like a changed person

2) You need your own space in this relationship and don’t seem to find it.

3) You’re just PMSing for way too long

4) You just wake up one day and say – “I think I need to torture my boyfriend”

5) You just wake up one day and feel NOT IN LOVE anymore

6) You really have no idea why it happens

7) You really ARE sluts

8) You’re affected by some external factor like friends, family, A BETTER POTENTIAL BOYFRIEND, etc.

9) Someone tells you that long distance relationships don’t work that well

10) You were never in love in the first place, he had it all figured out wrong.

Please feel free to choose more than one option and if you feel you are offended by these options, DON’T, its an honest questions that probably millions have been wanting to ask, I just thought I’d lend a helping hand.

Just as a final note, you feel that men are jerks and the perfect man is never going to be there. But, whenever he does come along with the best jokes, best romantic lines and the best ears to listen what you have to say… You choose otherwise to abandon all hope of true love ever making it through the history books of your life and find something else better to do.

Without even informing the one person whom you believed at some distant dimension and space…

Was the one

And God Created ... this

In my life Ive been overwhelmed by the creature that is 'girl'

The one of the two inhabitants in this oh so beautiful world.

Wonderstruck by their beauty,charm and elegance

Disgusted by their ego, simian brain and ignorance

An unanswered universal question, my mind it haunts.

Every man's wish to know "What a woman wants".

I wanted an answer even if i had to dig the graves.

I wanted an answer even if i had to look in caves.

I did not read books or watch them on the Nat Geo.

Neither did I learn about their fav perfume or deo.

Talking to them proved to be my way of progress.

There had to be that one girl whom i could impress.

I tried the boy next door or the daring romantic.

My rudeness and sarcasm made them quite frantic.

I started at zero and ended at a negative number.

I wanted a ceaser salad but didnt even get a cucumber .

Ah ! Such is life and it will always remain this way.

I think it was a better option if i had just turned gay.