Human nature, its something quite amazing to study, well actually anything is good enough to study as long as it isnt about bending moments and moments of inertia...
The best part being, this isnt something you find in books or dig up on wikipedia, its something one gains by having an insight in things that other people face or come across in life. Its all about looking at it from the other's point of view. I wont find people actually sitting down and talking why girls tend to look at guys less frequently than guys look at girls, or why going up to a girl and asking her for a dance/coffee/company is so hard. And what is the true reason behind finding every hot girl ending up with the worst of looking males.
One really doesn't bother in trying to figure out the other, it just proves to be a waste of time. That is exactly why shrinks are considered as nothing but phonies. Sorry to say this, but Freud did exist, sure there has been only ONE famous psychiatrist who has made history as big as MS Dhoni. But he had something that made the common man agree with him, that made the patient say, " Thank You Doctor, I acutally feel better"...
Avoiding anymore digressions, coming back to pondering on these questions, what happens then to the answers ? Or are these just rheotorical questions that end up being famous quotes rather than acutal questions ? Well, answers are tried but in the end conclusions come up instead of solutions.One says life is unfair, the other says girls are stupid, the third says guys are male chauvanist pigs. Well to be true, every person on this planet has their different point of view. That is exactly why, the answers never end up colliding and forming something solid. Everything just floats in the air which is soon nothing but particles of nothingness. But being not what the person next to you is, That is what makes humans exciting, that is what makes humans fight, that is what makes humans different, that is what makes humans humans.
To understand this point of view of each and every person is what engulfs me the most and makes me have a better view of things in my own personal life. Giving me a better insight on how to deal with things and how to settle others too.
It gives me a chance to know myself.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Blue Moon
I had been waiting for this night for many weeks now. Crossing out the dates on the calendar as I woke up every morning, today was was the day I would be crossing out the last date. Looking out of my window, the sky couldn't have been any bluer and the cold couldn't have been more peaceful. I loved the winters, it was a season that would always bring out beautiful memories, be it long walks along the sea shore or sitting in parks as leaves rustled in the cool breeze. Today was such a day and I was hoping it would end up as the best of my memories. I have always had this thought in my head, when one thinks of the things that are to happen, they never end up as you expect. Well there are a lot of strange notions that I believe in so I guess this shouldn't really be given such importance.
But what was it about today that made me so cheerful ?
I had got so lost in my thoughts and my notions that I had forgotten all that was happening around me, only to realise that I was late for college. As I looked at my 'wardrobe' , I chose to wear the Red Hot Chilli Peppers tee, it always grabbed attention ( but i think my hair grabbed more) and my only wearable jeans. Skipping the breakfast like every morning, I hopped on to my bicycle and sped away to college. The ride on the bike got me lost again in my thoughts as I felt the morning chill sweep over my face.
It was her Birthday
Just thinking about it, made me smile involuntarily and produced that dimple on my cheek. As I screeched in front of the college steps, I remembered the first time I had seen her right on these steps, walking out of the main gates with a flower in her hair. I think it was the flower that caught my attention. I wont say it was falling in love at first sight, but it sure was falling at first sight as I clumsily stumbled on my own foot and fell to the ground right in front of her feet unintentionally.
That was when our eyes met for the first time.
And now 7 months have passed since that day and I still cant help but stumble when I see her.
I had told her to keep herself free for the night. I had planned a lil' something for her. She loved surprises but I guess I loved giving them even more. She always protested that I shouldn't give her a gift but she always ended up the happiest when I gave her one. Well, for her Birthday, I chose not to give her anything ( thanks to her continuous pleading). I could tell that through the entire day, she was expecting me to come up with something from under the table and blow her out of her mind. I chose to disappoint her but only for a brief while. As night fell, I told her to meet me outside the movie theater as we had planned to go for a movie that she really was in no mood of seeing.
I showed up late as always and she was pissed as always. But today she had that frustration right up to that cute nose of hers. Fuming, she walked towards the ticket counter just wanting this day to be over with as soon as possible but she stopped a few feet from the counter. She looked back and saw me grabbing her arm as I shook my head slowly and pointed to the horse driven carriage waiting for us. With a completely nonplussed look at her face I just escorted her into the carriage and told her not to ask any questions. Away from the noise and lights of the city, the road opened up to the green hills as the carriage slowly prodded on. The carriage stopped a few minutes later and we got down at the foot of a hill. Still holding the question mark on her face, she protested and wanted to know what was going on. Her uneasiness was quite visible but hidden in it was that happiness, knowing that she was in for another surprise.
I asked her clumsily " Ready for some trekking ?" Without even waiting for her reply, I took her by the arm and we started climbing the hill with our feet climbing over the lush green grass. As I climbed up the hill, I got lost in my mind again and remembered how I had come across this place as I was aimlessly cycling after college. At that very instant I knew that I had to come here again with her and had started crossing the dates on the calendar since then. The moon was full and ripe, like it had just dropped out of a tree. I looked at its shine illuminating the hill, the trees, my T-shirt and then I saw it shining on her face and then in her eyes. I was loving every moment of this night. As the two of us panted and reached the top of the hill, her hand was in mine and as cold as it was, she found comfort in the warmth of my hands ( my hands always stayed warm). We were looking down at a lake that lay right at the centre, surrounded by hills all around. The moon and all the stars in the sky were refelcted as wind blew ripples on its surface. It looked beautiful, untouched by man and just like it was when when Earth was formed. But something else lay there as well. On the shores were around a hundred candles lit and they all were put together in such a way that is spelt out.
"Happy Birthday"
But what was it about today that made me so cheerful ?
I had got so lost in my thoughts and my notions that I had forgotten all that was happening around me, only to realise that I was late for college. As I looked at my 'wardrobe' , I chose to wear the Red Hot Chilli Peppers tee, it always grabbed attention ( but i think my hair grabbed more) and my only wearable jeans. Skipping the breakfast like every morning, I hopped on to my bicycle and sped away to college. The ride on the bike got me lost again in my thoughts as I felt the morning chill sweep over my face.
It was her Birthday
Just thinking about it, made me smile involuntarily and produced that dimple on my cheek. As I screeched in front of the college steps, I remembered the first time I had seen her right on these steps, walking out of the main gates with a flower in her hair. I think it was the flower that caught my attention. I wont say it was falling in love at first sight, but it sure was falling at first sight as I clumsily stumbled on my own foot and fell to the ground right in front of her feet unintentionally.
That was when our eyes met for the first time.
And now 7 months have passed since that day and I still cant help but stumble when I see her.
I had told her to keep herself free for the night. I had planned a lil' something for her. She loved surprises but I guess I loved giving them even more. She always protested that I shouldn't give her a gift but she always ended up the happiest when I gave her one. Well, for her Birthday, I chose not to give her anything ( thanks to her continuous pleading). I could tell that through the entire day, she was expecting me to come up with something from under the table and blow her out of her mind. I chose to disappoint her but only for a brief while. As night fell, I told her to meet me outside the movie theater as we had planned to go for a movie that she really was in no mood of seeing.
I showed up late as always and she was pissed as always. But today she had that frustration right up to that cute nose of hers. Fuming, she walked towards the ticket counter just wanting this day to be over with as soon as possible but she stopped a few feet from the counter. She looked back and saw me grabbing her arm as I shook my head slowly and pointed to the horse driven carriage waiting for us. With a completely nonplussed look at her face I just escorted her into the carriage and told her not to ask any questions. Away from the noise and lights of the city, the road opened up to the green hills as the carriage slowly prodded on. The carriage stopped a few minutes later and we got down at the foot of a hill. Still holding the question mark on her face, she protested and wanted to know what was going on. Her uneasiness was quite visible but hidden in it was that happiness, knowing that she was in for another surprise.
I asked her clumsily " Ready for some trekking ?" Without even waiting for her reply, I took her by the arm and we started climbing the hill with our feet climbing over the lush green grass. As I climbed up the hill, I got lost in my mind again and remembered how I had come across this place as I was aimlessly cycling after college. At that very instant I knew that I had to come here again with her and had started crossing the dates on the calendar since then. The moon was full and ripe, like it had just dropped out of a tree. I looked at its shine illuminating the hill, the trees, my T-shirt and then I saw it shining on her face and then in her eyes. I was loving every moment of this night. As the two of us panted and reached the top of the hill, her hand was in mine and as cold as it was, she found comfort in the warmth of my hands ( my hands always stayed warm). We were looking down at a lake that lay right at the centre, surrounded by hills all around. The moon and all the stars in the sky were refelcted as wind blew ripples on its surface. It looked beautiful, untouched by man and just like it was when when Earth was formed. But something else lay there as well. On the shores were around a hundred candles lit and they all were put together in such a way that is spelt out.
"Happy Birthday"
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Back-Space
A lone hand reaches out in the darkness, only to find the cold winds striking it and leaving the fingers numb and bare. Where there was warmth and passion now lies only the deep dark void...I guess life has its ways of putting things into place even when you think they already are. Remembering that I would return when this heart would be content or broken and I keep that promise. Looking up into the dark void of space and looking at the stars twinkling, I feel as alone as the stars out there in space. With my feet firmly on Earth, I wish to fly away from here and maybe visit the lakes in Scotland or the Streets of New York. To get away from all the worries and issues and tensions, just do what I really want to do on Earth, Live. I may write again, I may not but I know that I will take that hand away from the cold and keep it in my pocket along with my change and my bubble gum. Maybe taking it out for the occassional hand-shake or to pull my pants up when they are sliding too low.Its better this way.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Frostbite
I could remember it like it was yesterday.
I had woken up by the inviting smell of bacon. Mama had never failed in rumbling my tummy every morning. She was glad that like every other mother, she didnt have to force me to get up by pushing me till I fell out of bed. I woke up everyday just to see her beautiful face and take full delight in gorging her food.
I loved Mama because she loved me
She was an artists highest selling piece of work, simple,serene and strong. Never did I see her show any signs of weakness and she would always face me with a smile. I couldnt have wished for a better mother.
There I was relishing my breakfast with complete enthusiasm, it had been a cold day. The mail man hadnt come that day as well. So much for the term "Neither hail, nor snow, nor whatever the rest was". Mina my younger sister had just come after her bath. The two of us would walk 6 miles everyday to school. My house was at the top of a hill and it was quite some distance from the main city. Papa, whose work started early in the day had left early today as well. Papa was a good man, he would always buy us toys and take us to the city on every weekend either to the fair or to the theatre. Mama and Papa loved the plays over there. Mina and I would always find something else to do at that time.
Kissing her goodbye, Mina and I began our walk to school. I can still remember the chill in my fingers, it had been a very cold day indeed. Mama had given me the sweater just in case.
Mama always cared...
As evening, drew, Mina and I had decided to have a race back home, partly because I just loved beating her and partly because I couldnt wait to get back home. My tummy was rumbling again.
Puffing,panting and laughing as I entered the house, I called out "Mama !" but there was no reply. I called to her again but I was answered only in silence. Mina had entered by now and she too kept on callin her name repeatedly. As odd as it may have felt, I knew that Mama was O.K. she had probably had some urgent work and had to leave. We settled ourselves and found something to eat. I was partly angry at Mama for leaving us like that without any food at all. Mina and I waited till 11 pm sitting at the family couch after which the two of us dozed off...
I remember dreaming of Mama, walking through the door of our house, picking us up and tucking us safely in the warmth of our beds. Not knowing that the next morning I would be greeted not by Mama but some men in suits
It was a beautiful dream.
I had woken up by the inviting smell of bacon. Mama had never failed in rumbling my tummy every morning. She was glad that like every other mother, she didnt have to force me to get up by pushing me till I fell out of bed. I woke up everyday just to see her beautiful face and take full delight in gorging her food.
I loved Mama because she loved me
She was an artists highest selling piece of work, simple,serene and strong. Never did I see her show any signs of weakness and she would always face me with a smile. I couldnt have wished for a better mother.
There I was relishing my breakfast with complete enthusiasm, it had been a cold day. The mail man hadnt come that day as well. So much for the term "Neither hail, nor snow, nor whatever the rest was". Mina my younger sister had just come after her bath. The two of us would walk 6 miles everyday to school. My house was at the top of a hill and it was quite some distance from the main city. Papa, whose work started early in the day had left early today as well. Papa was a good man, he would always buy us toys and take us to the city on every weekend either to the fair or to the theatre. Mama and Papa loved the plays over there. Mina and I would always find something else to do at that time.
Kissing her goodbye, Mina and I began our walk to school. I can still remember the chill in my fingers, it had been a very cold day indeed. Mama had given me the sweater just in case.
Mama always cared...
As evening, drew, Mina and I had decided to have a race back home, partly because I just loved beating her and partly because I couldnt wait to get back home. My tummy was rumbling again.
Puffing,panting and laughing as I entered the house, I called out "Mama !" but there was no reply. I called to her again but I was answered only in silence. Mina had entered by now and she too kept on callin her name repeatedly. As odd as it may have felt, I knew that Mama was O.K. she had probably had some urgent work and had to leave. We settled ourselves and found something to eat. I was partly angry at Mama for leaving us like that without any food at all. Mina and I waited till 11 pm sitting at the family couch after which the two of us dozed off...
I remember dreaming of Mama, walking through the door of our house, picking us up and tucking us safely in the warmth of our beds. Not knowing that the next morning I would be greeted not by Mama but some men in suits
It was a beautiful dream.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Just my Luck
Good day all
Heres something that i have never done when it comes to writing down stuff. Boast.
To be frank I have always been a proud one and self obsessed like every virgo, not giving a damn about what I say or do or what effects it makes on others.
Now since I dont like showing these traits to people, I choose not to further disclose the skeletons in my closet.
Anyway, the reason why i have chosen to mention all this nonsense is for the pure fact to tell you all that I am the luckiest person on Earth. I really dont even feel right while writing this, because I have no idea what you all will make of this. But as an advise. Dont think about it.
Its something that i just wish to write and for the sake of keeping my blog alive, i wrote it here. Its nothing to appreciate or nothing to criticize its something that I have chosen to engrave on the stones of time.
So later, when maybe the days wont be as glorious as they are now, Ill look back at this and say to myself " Life wasnt always a bitch". Because for now, even though there is the case of influenza and the weird case of pain only in the right leg, i couldnt wish for anything else (A good hair texture would help although). I just feel happy for everything and anything around me and dont hope for anything else, for time will not listen to hopes and fears, it will tell...
Only time will tell...
Heres something that i have never done when it comes to writing down stuff. Boast.
To be frank I have always been a proud one and self obsessed like every virgo, not giving a damn about what I say or do or what effects it makes on others.
Now since I dont like showing these traits to people, I choose not to further disclose the skeletons in my closet.
Anyway, the reason why i have chosen to mention all this nonsense is for the pure fact to tell you all that I am the luckiest person on Earth. I really dont even feel right while writing this, because I have no idea what you all will make of this. But as an advise. Dont think about it.
Its something that i just wish to write and for the sake of keeping my blog alive, i wrote it here. Its nothing to appreciate or nothing to criticize its something that I have chosen to engrave on the stones of time.
So later, when maybe the days wont be as glorious as they are now, Ill look back at this and say to myself " Life wasnt always a bitch". Because for now, even though there is the case of influenza and the weird case of pain only in the right leg, i couldnt wish for anything else (A good hair texture would help although). I just feel happy for everything and anything around me and dont hope for anything else, for time will not listen to hopes and fears, it will tell...
Only time will tell...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Wish I was here
Let me introduce you all to my family, I on the other hand, am the empty seat to the far right
All Apologies
The world has become a much smaller place now. With nothing much to do except drag the corpse from room to class and class to room. With catching the bus at the odd weekend and heading back to my refuge, my haven, my love. Aah love, it is but a very weird and yet fascinating thing. To believe in it is something that I found much harder than believeing in ghosts. It is there around us and yet we fail to see it, feel it and give it.
Rohit Bhat, a Koshur comrade had once told me, one can't write when he is in love and I dont know whether I have believed it or I have taken it as an excuse but either ways, love has been the cause for my turbulent pause. The violin shall play one day, maybe on my wedding or on my boy's first recital or on my funeral... it shall play.
The pen does not wish to write, it wishes to splatter its ink and paint the town red. I leave you at peace today and come back when this heart will be content or shall be broken but for now I am incomplete and so is my blog.
Goodnight and Godspeed
Rohit Bhat, a Koshur comrade had once told me, one can't write when he is in love and I dont know whether I have believed it or I have taken it as an excuse but either ways, love has been the cause for my turbulent pause. The violin shall play one day, maybe on my wedding or on my boy's first recital or on my funeral... it shall play.
The pen does not wish to write, it wishes to splatter its ink and paint the town red. I leave you at peace today and come back when this heart will be content or shall be broken but for now I am incomplete and so is my blog.
Goodnight and Godspeed
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